CAMP: Having deliberately artificial, vulgar, banal, or affectedly humorous qualities or style.
– American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

There was one point in this week’s season finale of Nip/Tuck where I almost started to believe that the episode was going to end with Christian – whose dream sequence started this disaster of a television season – waking up from the nightmare that was this season. Like claiming virgin birth, after Newhart saying “it was all a dream” isn’t really something anyone else can do. But still, for a moment there, I was convinced it was the only explanation.

The entire episode – truly the whole season – was pretty goofy. But always in a way that suggested bad writing, lazy scripting, and a show that basically blew its wad back in its first season. It had never before occurred to me that the thing was deliberately bad, purposely surreal.

Until we got to the final confrontation scene, really two scenes, both with hostages and forced torture. Both utterly, unspeakably dumb. And both backed by an insipid, almost circus-like soundtrack. I’ve no idea what the song was, actually I’ve no desire to find out. It was upbeat and silly, almost. Entirely inappropriate for the brutality of the actions taking place on screen. And it occurred to me: Wow, it’s all been a scam. Christian is going to wake up with some bimbo next to him wondering why he’s making such strange noises in his sleep. It’s the only explanation. Professional writers can’t possible be this bad. Professional actors wouldn’t stand for it. Professional directors wouldn’t direct it. A network wouldn’t put this on TV unless it’s all a joke. It was all camp. I was sure.

But no. The joke was on me. It really was that bad. It was camp, just the writers didn’t intend it that way.

Somewhere there is the person who made the decision to play that song over that scene and he or she almost certainly believes the scene is a spectacular success in the tradition of Reservoir Dogs.

I’ve not yet decided what shocks me more: How bad a debacle this season was or, as I heard today, that there are those who think the season finale was a spectacular cap to the show’s finest season. Pardon me while I puke.