Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Candyland Conspiracy Theories

Saturday night I had a small packet of Runts and noticed they had a new flavor -- blue raspberry in the shape of the red cherries.

I like the blue raspberry flavor, don't get me wrong. And I'm definitely thrilled that M&M's has fulfilled my lifelong dream of dark chocolate M&M's. But, as a general rule, is it really necessary to tinker so much with successful candy flavor combinations?

I return to the Runts. Because it's not just that blue raspberry has been added. Apparently, they also added watermelon. Now, I'm not against adding flavors as a principal, though I guess it does sometimes come at the expense of pre-existing flavors. Still, as long as the new flavor is good, I have no complaints. And the watermelon Runt is not bad at all. My complaint is this: Watermelon Runts have displaced the lime flavor.

For a moment, I was actually excited. It seemed that the limes in the box of Runts were now HUGE! But where were these new watermelon ones? I was confused. And then I realized. That's not lime anymore. Lime is gone. I will miss you lime. And I will miss you Runts, for what is the point of ever buying Runts again without the lime flavor?

Not that I was really a big Runts consumer, mind you. But this radical flavor elimination really needs to stop. It's not just ruining the potential for me to buy more Runts, it's frankly raping my childhood memories. Moreover, my children may have to grow up in a world devoid of lime-flavored Runts entirely. So it's time to stop with the craziness. For the love of crunchy, sugary candies and all other things holy it is time to STOP!

Unless you're eliminating the bananas. Those are sick.

5 comments:

Matthew said...

Yeah, I understand that no candy flavoring actually bears much of a resemblance to the actual fruit it supposedly represents but "banana" flavor is just awful. I can't even think of something gross to compare it to because it's my highest standard of sick things, the comparison I measure all other possibilities against. For instance, a co-worker might say, "Matt, did you see that Survivor where they had to eat duck eggs with a partially developed duck inside them?" and I'd respond, "I did. That was disgusting. Like one step away from making them eat banana Runts. Foul!"

Anonymous said...

Write to wonka via nestle foods if enough of us write and demand it they will bring back lime runts. I've already written them myself.

Justin S. said...

I googled "Bring back lime Runts" and this is the only page that showed up. I'm all about theletter writing campaign.

Anonymous said...

I miss lime :( Although the new boxes have Pineapple and Mango, the Mangos taste like soap in aftertaste. Still no lime. I'll join the fight! let's send Wonka a piece of our mind.

Sintaxed said...

Runts was pretty much my favorite candy for a great many years. Actually I should probably say that Runts Lime was my favorite, as it is the only reason I purchased the product.

The other flavors were ok, well except for banana...those I just tossed in the trash. I am sure they could just sell the lime in a pack by itself and it would be a top seller. I cannot imagine how much money I spent on Runts candy and now you could'nt pay me to eat it.

If Wonka messes up Spree like they did with Runts then I will search for the golden ticket elsewhere.

Bring back the Lime!