"Sorry if ... "

Something else from my trip to Denver a couple weeks back has stayed on my mind, though I don't think I mentioned it yet.

On our flight back to Phoenix on Monday morning, there was a girl sitting in the aisle seat across the aisle from Erin and me. I am terrible when it comes to guessing ages, but I would not think she could have been much older than 20. At the same time, given that she was flying on a Monday morning, she was also probably out of high school. She seemed like a small girl, though I didn't see her standing up to guess her height, she was very thin. She was also clealry exhausted. I mean, Erin and I both were fully engaged in a battle to keep our eyelids open, but this girl took looking tired to a whole new level. She seemed beaten down by the world.

Almost immediately, upon taking her seat, she curled around a backpack that she was basically using as a pillow, and fell asleep. It was then that we noticed she had something written on her arm.

She had clearly tried to wash it off, but it looked like it had probably been written with a Sharpie or some other permananet black marker. It was smudged and not very easy to read at first, but after a couple minutes Erin and I both came to the disturbing conclusion that someone had written on her arm: "Sorry if I fucked you."

Sorry if I fucked you? This phrase literally makes my mind spin with possibilities. Whatever happened, this girl didn't have a good weekend, I can tell you that much. But the word "if" at least seems to offer some hope. Maybe nobody fucked her at all. To be honest, I'm not even sure if that girl herself will ever know. I'd be very interested to know that whole story, whatever it is. It seems like a good story idea, but at the same time I don't know if I could ever write a fictional story about her without feeling like I was violating her even more than she had already been.

Still, I can't quite get it out of my head. I hope she's OK.